Who’s got your back? A surefire way to make sure yours is always covered.

(2 minute read time) 

Having a good network, a mentor, a sponsor, and/or someone who’s a champion of ours are all methods we’ve been told to help ensure we have support.  

Undoubtedly, these are great suggestions. Yet there’s one area of support – a huge one – that many of us are missing out on.    

Ourselves.  

Here’s an example..  I was working with a client who was pretty sure her coworkers did not view her in a positive light.   

As we explored further, we uncovered the real issue is that she did not think very highly of herself.  This led her to behave in a people-pleasing way.  The more she tried to do what she thought would make others like her, she just felt worse.  Then, when feeling badly, her efforts at work waned and that only proved to reignite her belief that “they don’t like me”.  It was a vicious cycle.    

The problem stemmed from trying to behave in a way that was incongruent with what she actually believed.  Even if her efforts to get others to like her “worked” all she would have succeeded in doing is getting them to like a version of her that isn’t genuine.  They still wouldn’t know, or have the chance to like, the real version.  So, it’s actually good that her efforts failed.  

I think many of us have been in this same boat.   I’ve found myself there recently with current events and feeling a bit nervous and fearful about addressing my audience in the “right” way in light of current events.  

Then I decided to have my own back.  And you can too.  

When we decide to “have our own back” – no matter what – we can march forward with a new level of confidence.  We no longer have to fear being wrong or become defensive when people misunderstand.  

We don’t get defensive when we think people are wrong about us, we actually get defensive out of the fear that they may be right.  

When we feel defensive, it’s a cue to take a kind and curious look at what we are thinking about ourselves.  We question all the unhelpful BS we’re telling ourselves.  We find that which is helpful and believable (note: not necessarily positive).  Then we practice.

Need a hand learning how to have your own back?  I can definitely help, just click here to schedule a chat!