What to do with other people’s opinions – especially the negative ones, about you

(2 minute read time)

Several years ago my best friend was in the middle of an ugly divorce (not sure “pretty” ones exist, but this one was rather ugly).  Since I’m her ally, her soon-to-be-ex was not a big fan of mine and he made that very clear.      

We got through that tough time, her ex moved away, and all was well.  Nary a thought about this man passed my mind most days over the course of almost a couple of decades.  And then, we had a reason to be in the same place.  

Have you ever been there?  In the same room with someone you are pretty sure does not like you – possibly even hates you?  

It could easily have been super awkward and uncomfortable.  I could have easily been wrapped up in the idea that this person dislikes me.

But, that’s not what happened.  

Instead, I was able to just be me and enjoy the event.  

What the what??  How did that happen??  

Here’s how… In the years following their divorce, I’ve come to challenge some myths about what other people think.  In doing so, I’ve gained invaluable insights that have freed me from the chains of people’s perception of me.

There are two main concepts to grab a hold of if you are wrestling with someone else’s opinion of you:

• Your opinion of yourself matters way more than anyone else’s – Having a well-established perception of yourself creates a filter.   This filter allows you to sift out any unnecessary, unhelpful, and/or inaccurate opinions from those around us.   

• Other people’s opinions are theirs, all theirs – Opinions are just sentences in our minds and we all have them.  Opinions are not facts and they only become meaningful if we choose to make them mean something (aka – we believe their  opinion is true and/or a problem).  In short, we get to have an opinion on the merit or value of other people’s opinions.  It’s never a given.  

If someone has a less than stellar opinion of you it does not mean anything has gone wrong.  It just means the other person had a thought about you.  Now, the ball is in your court, what do you want to do with that thought they had? 

It’s your choice.  I hope you choose in a way that moves you forward.  Need a hand?  I can definitely help.  Click here to chat!