Turning Fear into Fuel: How to answer those pesky “What If” questions

(2-minute read time) 

She had just been promoted.  She was excited and nervous, more of the latter.  I knew she was nervous without her saying so. Her string of “What if…” questions made it pretty obvious.  

What if…..

They don’t like me?

I don’t do a good job?

It’s harder than I imagine?

My team doesn’t perform well?

I can’t keep up with work and being a Mom?

None of her “What if…” questions accounted for a positive outcome.  They all focused on the undesirable.

All of her questions could be wrapped up into one overarching, looming, scary “What if” question:    

“What if I fail?”

Her brain, just like yours and mine, has a primitive and primary desire to ensure safety and security.  It’s a survival instinct. One that can keep us from really showing up in our lives if we let it.

So one by one, we addressed the frightening “What if’s”.  Together, we went to the scary place in the future where failure was a possibility.  And one by one, we discovered there was a recovery option for each possible failure.       

Once we had done that, we were able to look at the opposite outcome – success. An outcome that was not only possible for her, but it was also actually much more likely.  By the time we were finished, she was imagining success not failure. She left fueled with confidence. Not confidence in the sense that everything would go perfectly, but confidence that even if the “What If’s” actually happened – it was all going to be ok.  We had tipped the scales, excitement overtook nervousness.        

How about you?  Where do you find yourself “What if’ing” your future?  Are your questions focused on the undesirable? Is the undesirable actually likely?  

Take some time to let yourself go to the scary “What if…” place.  Put yourself hypothetically in that situation and uncover what you would do if that was real.  I suspect you will find that there is a recovery option.  

Often, it’s much easier to go to the land of “What if” with a tour guide.  I can definitely help, just click here to schedule a free, 30-minute discovery session.