The myth of two ears and one mouth

(2-minute read time)

She’s passed on, but I can still hear my grandmother saying “You were given two ears and one mouth for a reason”.  

Anyone else besides me received that nugget of wisdom from someone in their youth?   

It suggests that we should use our ears and mouth in proportion.  Listen more, talk less.  

I agree with the idea that the skill of listening, truly actively listening, is a crucial skill.  One that is essential in all of our relationships – both personally and professionally. It’s a skill that makes a good partner and even better partner, a good friend and even better friend, and a good leader even better leader.

At the same time, I want to offer a reason we should flip this conventional wisdom on its head and do the exact opposite.  I want to give you a reason to talk more and listen less. Daily.

It’s in conversation with ourselves.  

Conscious or not, there’s a narrative going on in your mind.  Your brain is always talking to you.  

It’s often telling you about all of the things that are wrong with you, your career, your relationships, other people, the world.  It’s pointing to the scarcity around you as evidence that these “observations” are “true”. It will tell you there’s not enough – time, money, energy.  It will tell you that you are not enough.  

Brains do this, they’re just trying to protect us.  It’s ok. Nothing has gone wrong.  

Here’s where you have a choice.  You can listen to what it’s offering up and roll with that.  Or, you can talk back to it.  

If we just listen to the original narrative without engaging in a conversation, we succumb to limiting beliefs about ourselves and others.  Our brains need management, direction, and instruction. Here’s a perfect opportunity to flip the script of talking more v. listening more. 

Taking charge of our thoughts & beliefs can be easier said than done.  Without it though, I assure you what’s going on “up there” will always express itself in your results. Perhaps you can use a hand in managing it all? I can definitely help. Click here to chat!