The Likable Leader

(2 minute read time)

I have this one friend that, when I first met her, I did not like her.  At. All.

As I got to know her more, my opinion started to shift.  Eventually, we even became roommates! As of today, we are still super close – she calls me “her person”.  
Awwwww – isn’t that sweet??  

So what happened?  How did I go from not liking her at all to being “her person”?  

Here’s what happened.  She did not change. I did.  

Our brains love to connect new things to things we already know.  For example, let’s say the company you work for rolls out new policies frequently and they never seem to stick.  In short time, your brain will think it recognizes exactly what is happening.
You might notice yourself thinking or saying “Here we go again!” and you will begin to think ALL of the new policies are baloney.

We do the same thing with people. If you meet a new person that reminds you of your super kooky neighbor or the history teacher you hated in high school your brain is going to warn you to watch out for him or her.

That’s what happened to me.  My friend reminded me of someone from my past that brought up unpleasant feelings.  I wasn’t conscious of the connection and, even if I were, there was nothing she could do about it.    

We all want to be liked.  We want approval, acceptance, validation.  Facebook knows this – that’s why they gave us the “like” button.

I think as leaders we often suffer from the desire to be liked even more so than some others.  We think if our team members and colleagues like us then we are a “good leader”.

Where we miss the boat is in giving this to ourselves.  Ask yourself if YOU even like yourself? Do you really, truly like you?  Do you really, truly believe that you are a good leader?

Relying on another person to make us feel likable fails.  Every time. When we work hard to be liked we end up either having to keep up the facade or risk being disliked.

If you are willing to risk being disliked you get to show up as the real you.   It is so much easier to be genuine and authentic. It is easier to risk being disliked.       

I promise you, there will always be people who do not like you.  Let them. You probably just remind them of that horrible history teacher.  

Instead of spending your energy on people who do not like you, just focus on helping you like yourself.  When you feel self-assured, you draw people to you – the kind who really like you for who genuinely are.

Let me help you find the way to liking yourself enough to close the gap left by the haters. Click here to schedule a free discovery session.