Perfectly Imperfect

(< 3 minute read time)

Oh how I need this topic today!

I sat here with a blank page and thought about what to write.  I wanted it to be compelling, inspiring, creative, helpful, meaningful.  I wanted it to be perfect. Then the gremlins in my mind started talking, telling me that it really was not possible for little ol’ me to deliver something that was all of those things. Telling me that even trying would be hard, it would take a lot of time and effort.

And then, I decided not to listen to that nonsense.  I recalled Brene Brown calling herself “an aspiring good-enough-ist”.  I recall my coach saying “Do B- work and move on”.

There have been many times in my life when I tried to strive for “perfect” over “good enough” – as a leader, with my co-workers, friends, family, even strangers.  I know I am not alone here. I don’t suffer from perfectionistic tendencies much anymore, but obviously, as I sat with my blank page it’s clear that I am not cured!

Why?  Why do we strive for “perfect”?

I believe in most cases the driver of perfectionism is an attempt to manage other people’s opinions.  

It can be sneaky and subconscious, we may not even realize what we are doing.  For me, it sounded like this: “If I write an amazing post, people will value me and my work more”.  

I see this in my clients lives too.  They want to be the perfect leader, parent, employee, spouse, friend.  In the process of striving for perfection, they reject the real, authentic, genuine version of themselves.  They believe that something is wrong with them. They resist the fact that they, like all of us, are imperfect.  

When we go out of our way to please people in order to be liked or validated, we are not showing up as our true self.  Instead, we are showing up as some version of ourselves that we think will make someone else like us.  The real kick in the pants is that anything we produce from a perfectionist mindset can’t be perfect because it is not authentic.             

It is possible to circumvent all of this unnecessary mental drama.  It is possible to be perfectly imperfect. Here are some important lessons I have learned that I needed to remind myself of:  

• I value me and my work enough for both of us!    
• What I think about me is far more important than what others think about me.  
• If someone does not care for me or my work, it is not about me, it’s about them and their preferences.

As the saying goes “You can be the juiciest peach in the world and there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches”.  It’s not about the peach.

Want to join me in aspiring for “good enough”?  Click here to schedule a free 30-minute coaching session with me.