How we keep ourselves trapped with the same problems

(2-minute read time) 

“I’m reminded,” he begins, “of a famous cartoon. It’s of a prisoner, shaking the bars, desperately trying to get out—but to his right and left, it’s open, no bars.”

He pauses, allowing the image to sink in.

“All the prisoner has to do is walk around. But still, he frantically shakes the bars. That’s most of us. We feel completely stuck, trapped in our emotional cells, but there’s a way out—as long as we’re willing to see it.”

I read Lori Gottlieb’s book “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” last year and at first, the excerpt above just did not make sense to me.  The author’s therapist is telling her that she, like the prisoner, can escape her turmoil.

If there’s a way out why doesn’t the prisoner just take it?

Then, I was reminded of my own hangups and habits.  The ones I still haven’t shaken. The ones that keep me shackled.  The ones that I could slay if I just became willing enough to step to the left or right.

Have you ever noticed yourself trying to solve the same problem, or a similar version of the same problem, over and over again in your life?

Here’s why you are not putting a stop to it once and for all.  

It’s actually more convenient to have the problem.  There’s a benefit, a secondary gain, in keeping the problem.  

For example, Carlye desperately wants to change up her career.  She says she feels “trapped”. She’s been wanting this for a few years now. She wants a higher-level position in a completely different industry.  And yet, she still finds herself in the same position at the same company.  

For her, meeting her goal of getting a new position in a new industry means letting go of the comfort of knowing what each workday brings.  It means taking responsibility for creating the change. It means figuring out how and taking on risk.  

Short-term it’s far more comfortable to stay behind the bars of her current career than it is to put forth the effort to step left or right. 

Long-term success is built upon our willingness to step left or right, even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable to do so.  

Which way will you step today?  Need a hand? I can definitely help, just click here to schedule a free, 30-minute discovery session.