Have the do-over you’ve always wanted

(< 3 minute read time)

I remember the time my friend told me the story about one of her most embarrassing moments at work.  She accidentally said “sex” when she meant to say another word. She said it in front of a large audience with “important” people in it.  

She wanted to desperately go back in time and get a do-over.  

Have you ever felt like that?  

I have.  

The good news is your assessment of your mess up is yours. You own it. You get to tell the story any way you want to. You can be humiliated.  You can be self-deprecating. You can think it’s hilarious (like my friend does) or you can even be proud.

The past is over.  It only exists in your mind.  

When my friend tells the story of her “verbal malfunction” it is just that.  A story. It’s just her version of what happened. Other people who were there that day might tell it very differently.   

For example, I have an older sister.  We grew up in the same house. Yet, sometimes when we recall events from our childhood we recall them very differently.  But we were both there – we can be talking about the exact same event, but have completely different stories about it.

Anything you say or think about your past is just a story. What version of the story do you want to tell?

Many times, we think we are just reporting the “facts”.  Check yourself on that the next time you talk about something that happened in the past.  I bet you will find loads of opinion and interpretation in there.

I have decided that I am going to tell my story in a way that serves me.  My coach often says: “It was always supposed to be that way. You know how I know?  Because that’s what happened”.

Maybe you did not have an idyllic childhood.  Maybe your latest attempt at leading an employee towards improvement didn’t work.  Maybe you had an embarrassing moment you regret. Maybe you never got that advanced degree.

Who would you be if you didn’t shudder with shame about the past?

How can you retell the story in a way that serves you?

What are some ways you could consider looking at your past differently?

Ask yourself those questions and then pick the answers you like best.  It’s your story, you get to tell it any way you want to.

There is no such thing as “old pain”.  If you have any pain from your past it is because of how you are choosing to think about it now.    

I am not saying you should think happy thoughts about a negative situation.  But, I am saying it is your choice. If I challenged you to find reasons why it was a good thing that things happened the way they did – you could find them.  So, consider yourself challenged.

Whatever you do, do not let your version of yesterday’s story hold you back from what tomorrow could be.

Want some help reshaping the past?  Want to tell your story in a way that propels you instead of hindering you? I can help, click here to schedule a free, discovery session.