Avoid this one common mistake when making your 2020 goals

(2 ½ minute read time)

I’ve shared before that the number one obstacle to accomplishing a goal is the lack of belief.  Doubt can suffocate a goal faster than you can say “Nevermind”. But, before the point of doubting a goal is possible, we have to come up with the goal.  And THAT is where the problem starts for many of us.

When we think about what we want for our future, many of us believe our goals, dreams, and desires should be “acceptable” pursuits.  We muddy up our goals by mixing in what we think we “should” want to do in this world. We set goals we think we ought to set or that other people think we ought to set.    

For example, when I was choosing the area I should focus my coaching practice, I was debating between two, vastly different, areas of concentration. 

Some of you may know that I’ve been impacted by losing loved ones to suicide.  Being a surviving friend or family member after such a tragic event is tough to say the least.  So, at one point, I was considering focusing my practice on helping others who have been touched by suicide.  I knew this population of people would benefit tremendously from coaching.      

At the same time, I had already invested decades focusing on Leadership and Organizational Development in my career.  It’s an area I love working in, it’s fun yet challenging at the same time. I could definitely see myself spending my days coaching in this way and loving it.  

I was torn.  All I wanted was to make sure I chose something meaningful.   

I met with my coach to sort out the conundrum and she helped me to see that “meaningful” is just a mental construct.  It did not matter what concentration I chose, either could be meaningful if I thought of it that way.  

So now back to you.  What do you want for 2020?  What if you picked a goal just because you think it will be interesting, fun, in alignment with the dreams you have for your life?  What if other people’s opinions about your goal being admirable or worthy didn’t matter? What if you just select something just because you want to.  

Your goal does not have to be altruistic or something that you think somehow increases your value as a human (By the way, you’re already 100% worthy and valuable – but that’s another blog post).  You have the freedom to choose anything you want. The only reason you really need to have is one you like. It’s perfectly acceptable for that reason to be “Because I want to”.    

But, having this freedom can also be a challenge.   Having the freedom to choose means we are going to have to hang out with ourselves a bit to figure out what it is that we really want.  What is it that you value? What do you desire? What would you love to create? Do you know? I fear many of us don’t. Maybe you could use a hand figuring it all out.  I can definitely help, just click here to schedule a free, 30-minute discovery session.