The first 2 steps in designing your future

(3-minute read time)

It was a  one-on-one meeting I will never forget.   

Team Member: “Tell me, really, how do I get ahead in my career?  Do I have to be a b*tch?“

Me:  “What do you mean?  Why would you think you have to be that way to get ahead?”

Team Member:  “Because it just seems that way around here.  Most women who get promoted here are pushy and demanding.  Not you of course, but most of them.”

Phew.  She did not think I was one of those.  

But, there was a larger concern at hand.  She believed that I was one of the lucky few who was able to become a leader without being overly aggressive.  She believed that she might have to muster up an aggressive personality in order to raise her own chances of achieving the same.  

The answer to her question was the same then as it is now:  

“You don’t have to be anyone other than yourself to move forward in your career.”  

It’s a simple answer, but not an easy one.  

While being just who we are is enough, we also need to take the time to know who that is.  Most of us, despite the fact that we are with ourselves all day every day, don’t know ourselves well.  

The second part of this is that we were designed to evolve, change, grow – not stay the same.  This means we will constantly be reinventing ourselves and getting to know the new version of ourselves that we are becoming.  Most of us don’t do that either.

Here’s what most of us actually do: Get the education, the job, the house, the family and then wonder why we don’t feel fulfilled.  

We’ve achieved many of the things we said we wanted when we were younger.  Now we have them and we’re bewildered that life is not all it’s cracked up to be.    

So, what to do?  

We have to choose and sometimes re-choose the design of our lives.  

There are several ways to go about this but it all starts with taking time, which feels like a hot commodity for many of us.  When we do find free time, we are not using it to design our future.

Often, even if we do take time to examine our lives and ask ourselves if we like the results we’ve created, we get stuck.  We stopped dreaming a long time ago. We no longer allow ourselves to envision a future where we have a meaningful, purpose-filled life.  Instead, we believe that’s just not how life works.

If this is you, do two things to kick start living your life with intention :  

1. Make time to design your future:  You’re not too busy for this.  It’s your life we are talking about!  What do you want to accomplish that you have not yet?  Allow yourself to dream here. Do not worry about the logistics, obstacles, costs, or time it would take (yet).  Think of it all as being possible – because, I promise you, it is.
2. Re-choose what’s already good:  There are probably plenty of areas of your life that are great and you would choose all over again.  Maybe you love and would never change your education, spouse, or home. Acknowledge those. Consciously choose them again.  Experience the gratitude and sense of accomplishment all over again! It will propel you towards what you decided in #1.

Once you decide what you want to accomplish in the future, you’ll need a plan to bring it to life.  I can definitely help, just click here to schedule a free, 30-minute discovery session.