Why you should break up with “should”

(<2-minute read time)

“They should come to me and ask me for my opinion.” my client said.  

I asked, “Why?”.  

She said, “Because I have the experience, I know how to handle this”.

I told her she could just offer her opinion without being asked. But she was dead set on the idea that her leadership SHOULD ask her.  

Here’s the deal.  Sometimes we have to break up with the idea of how things SHOULD be and go with what is.  

Notice I said “sometimes”, I am not suggesting we never take action towards positive change.  I am suggesting we decide on purpose if it’s worth it. We have to like our reasons.

As my client and I talked through this we uncovered the reasons she wanted them to ask her about her opinion without her having to offer it:  It was all rooted in what she made the order of operations mean.

If they asked her FIRST….

It would mean they recognized her experience, knowledge, skills, and abilities.

It would mean they valued her opinion.  

It would mean she was valuable.  

Here’s what I told her:

“You can just decide that your experience, knowledge, skills, abilities, and opinions are valuable.  You can just decide that YOU are valuable”.

There are so many benefits to simply deciding these things without outside validation. For example:

1. You don’t have to wait for someone else to do or say something to feel good, you get to feel good now
2. You get to show up as a person who believes these things about yourself (and trust me you WILL show up differently when you really believe them)    
3. You aren’t worried at all about what other people will think
4. Your results will be MUCH better

Are you struggling with things that just aren’t as they “should be”?   I can definitely help, click here to schedule a free, 30-minute discovery session.