Month: October 2020

(Under 2 minute read time)

Whirlwind, overwhelming, stressful, chaotic… All have been commonly used to describe 2020 along with the plans we once had for it.

With just 2 months left in this year, many of us are clamoring for the hope of the New Year.  But what if we didn’t have to wait for things to get better?

What if I told you that you have everything you need to start turning the table right now?  Would you go for it?

Because here’s the thing… You really do already have everything you need.  

It’s not a stretch to see the connection between what we DO and the results we have.  Any result we have or want to have in life comes from action.  

But often, with the way we’re feeling, action towards the desired result isn’t just going to happen magically.  

Actions are driven by the way we feel.  When we feel awful, our actions (or inaction) reflect that inner ick.  

That begs the question, where does the ick come from?

Us.  Our very own brains are creating the ick.  It’s all a result of our thinking.  

Not the pandemic.  Not our boss.  Not our spouse.  Not homeschooling.  Not the economy or the election.          

Thoughts create Feelings which drive Action and ultimately determine our Results.  

This is great news because you have full control over all three of these things – your Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions.  This means you can create any Results you want.

What thoughts are you thinking?

What feelings are they creating?

What actions do you take when you feel this way?

The answers to these questions will clearly explain why you have the results you have. Not so ironically, it’s the answers to these very same questions that can bring you a fresh start any day of the year.  

Give these questions some genuine attention. Take responsibility for areas where you DO have control.  Stop wishing it were different and let’s go make it different.  Need a hand?  I can definitely help.  Click here to chat!

(2 minute read time)

I’ve been loving watching my hometown team, the Rays, in the playoffs.  It’s been so great having a baseball game every night these days!  

This year though, I really got to thinking more about the mental aspect of the game.  For sure baseball already requires a high level of skill both physically and mentally.  And, whether you’re a baseball fan or not the mental fortitude these players demonstrate is admirable.  I’ll prove it to you.    

Think about this, MOST of the time hitters fail.  On average, hits happen only 25% of the time. 

What if you knew MOST of the time you did something you routinely do, it was not going to end up the way you’d like?

Studies have shown that mathematically it’s highly unlikely a player should ever be able to hit the ball.  Hitters only have about ¼ of a second to decide, because in the amount of time it takes to blink – the ball has crossed the plate.      

There’s already limited time and a limited chance of success.  Now, let’s add in the pressure of the playoffs.  A championship title on the line and perhaps future career moves are at stake.  What’s a player to do?

They need to do the same thing you or I need to do when we feel like our backs are up against the wall.  When it feels like there’s little chance we’ll get a hit.  Or it feels like there’s no time to figure out the best move.   And when it feels like getting it right is crucial to your future.        

What we need to do is decide…  

Decide that the last at-bat doesn’t matter.  Past failure only means something right now if we let it.  

Decide that you have the exact amount of time you need.  Wishing you had more time only takes up time, get to work – give it what you got for the amount of time you got. Negotiate for more time when it’s truly necessary, otherwise, just give it your best.         

Decide that getting it right doesn’t always look the way we imagined.  It’s better to get struck out swinging than looking.  It’s still a strikeout but you showed up for the occasion and sometimes just showing up IS getting it right my friends.          

It’s not just athletes who need coaching, we all do. I can definitely help.  Click here to chat!  

(2-minute read time)

When’s the last time you were infuriated?  I mean the kinda PO’d where you might just bite your tongue off if you tried to bite it at all…  

Often this happens when life is already feeling busy, stressful, overwhelming.  Then something happens and it’s like a rotten cherry atop a crapola sundae.  

Like the day we had a huge project going on at work, I was running late, and I also had to pick up a friend before heading into the office.  In my hurry to pick her up I left my wallet at home.  I also failed to notice other important details – like how fast I was driving and that there was a police officer who was very much in tune with how fast people were driving.  

That day I ended up getting in to work later than late due to spending extra time waiting for the officer to write me not 1, but 2 tickets –  one for speeding and another for not having my license with me. 

Once I was finally at the office, the project we were working on went off the rails and we had to navigate some significant challenges and setbacks. 

To top it off, when I got home that day and shared what happened with the officer that morning, the response I got was “Well, you shouldn’t have agreed to pick her up”.  

I. Was. Furious. 

It was already a bad day, I did not need that unhelpful remark.  And yet, there it was.  

In moments like these, it can feel like the universe is conspiring against us.  It feels as though if there’s a chance for something to go wrong, it most definitely will.  Then to add to the misery, everyone around us seems to be exceptionally good at irritating the heck out of us.

It’s inevitable that we will have trying days.  And while we can’t always prevent that, we can prevent ourselves from making things even worse.

Our ability to respond – our “response-ability” – is driven by our emotions.  The actions we take and the words we speak (and then often later wish we hadn’t) – are all driven by those same emotions.  

In short, when we feel well we respond well.  

When we feel awful we respond awfully. 

A moment of venting might feel great for an instant.  But, done in the wrong venue out of the wrong emotion, it just adds to the overall drama.  As Craig Groeschel says “When emotions are high, wisdom is low”.  

Emotions come from our Thoughts. If you want to increase your “response-ability” choose BELIEVABLE thought that will deliver the emotions you need to respond the way your true-self wants to.

Need some help getting a handle on your “response-ability”?  I can definitely help.  Click here to chat!  

(Under 2-minute read time)

Just the phrase “self-discipline” can conjure up feelings of discomfort and deprivation.  

But, what if it doesn’t have to be that way?  What if it were possible to do the “right” things and avoid the “wrong” things without the pain?

Exercise, eat healthy foods, drink less, be more productive, have healthy relationships – these are common things I hear my clients tell me they want.    

Wanting just isn’t enough to accomplish these things with any regularity though.  Why? 

Because our starting point is usually not a good one.  Our starting point is often one that starts with a “should”…

I should get up earlier in the morning.  

I should exercise more.  

I should eat better.  

I should drink less.  

We often attempt to change our behavior through willpower.  We muster up a desire to do what we “should” do and deny ourselves what “feels good”.  And it never, ever lasts.  

When we approach things from the place of “should” we set ourselves up for shame when we fail.  

Alternatively, consider the idea of replacing “should” with “it feels good to”….

It feels good when I get a jump start on my day.    

It feels good after I exercise.  

It feels good when I eat healthy foods.  

It feels good when I drink less. 

Drop the idea that you “should”.  No, this does not mean that behavior change will be completely without challenge.  But it does give those challenges a purpose that serves you instead of threatening to devalue your worth.  

Need a hand?  I can definitely help.  Click here to chat!