Month: August 2020

(2-minute read time)

Ever have one of those days that feels like Murphy was an optimist?  One of those days where if it can go wrong, it will, and it’s going to happen all on that same day?

On one such day I was dusting and broke a vase, one of my favorites (naturally).  I put the larger pieces in a trash bag and got the vacuum to clean up the shards.  As I was cleaning, the vacuum was just close enough to the trash bag to suck up the handles (of course).  

What do you suppose my immediate reaction was?    

Slam my hand down on the bag.  You know, the bag OF BROKEN GLASS?!?!

It was a reflex.  Just like when doc hits your knee with that little triangle hammer.  

There was no time for my brain to analyze the contents of the bag before deciding it was imperative that I rescue the bag from the vacuum (or was I rescuing the vacuum from the bag?  I have no idea…)

After the vacuum and the bag were successfully extricated from one another, I thought back on what happened.  I was fascinated by the speed of this reflex and how it could have been a pretty gruesome outcome.  You can breathe a sigh of relief, I wasn’t terribly injured.  I happened to land in such a way that I only endured barely a scratch.  (Guess it wasn’t such a bad day after all)

Our thoughts, opinions, judgments can be a lot like our physical reflexes.  They can happen instantly, they are “Reflex Thoughts”.  

Reflexive Thoughts are not inherently a problem.  They may even be very good thoughts that are helpful & useful.  However, they are often responsible for creating and/or perpetuating problems in your life.  

One way to tell if your “Reflexive Thoughts” are serving you is to simply take a look at them.  We have about 70,000 thoughts per day.  Observe some of them.  Write them down.  Notice if they are positive, neutral, or negative.  

Consider the idea that these thoughts are the things that actually determine what kind of day you have.  Those days add up into weeks, months, years, and ultimately a lifetime.  Consider the idea that every single one of your thoughts is optional.  Are your thoughts reflective of the kind of life you want to be living?  Most of us can use a hand with this part.  If that’s you, I can definitely help.  Click here to chat!      

(2 minute read time) 

So, you followed all 6 secrets and stuff still went undone.  

Now is not the time to beat yourself up for not getting it done.  Nor is it time to give up on the 6 secrets.  

It’s time to get curious and creative.  It’s time for Bonus Secret #7: Fail forward.

It is absolutely imperative that you do this kindly.  Making a mistake does not automatically mean you’re a failure but if you chastise yourself for your performance, you will surely feel like one.  Instead, imagine your best friend told you she just made this same mistake – address the situation with yourself exactly the same way you would with her.  You’d never tell her she’s a loser for having fallen short. You’d never tell her she should probably just give up.   Instead, focus on how to handle things differently in the future instead of ruminating on the error itself.  

When you direct your brain towards problem-solving mode it will show up for you in wonderfully surprising ways!         

What did not get done	What happened?	Strategies to make this a win next time
Missed 1 of my 3 workouts	I overslept, was tired from working late the night before	Be more realistic with weekly work goals Negotiate timeframes/deadlines with my boss   Wake up and work out even when I don’t feel like it Temporarily reduce quantity of workouts when demands at the office are high and inflexible

That’s it my friends!  These are all the secrets to spending your precious time with intention.  I promise if you do this work you will surprise yourself with how much you can get done and how amazing you feel.  

When we’re intentional with our time we not only get more done, we create amazing results which creates more confidence, and the ambition to accomplish even more!  A great way to continue this work towards becoming intentional with your time and your life is to have someone that will help you sort through the noise.  Let’s chat, I can definitely help.       

Six Secrets to Tame your Time: Secret #6

(<4 minute read time) 

If you’ve gotten this far, you’re pretty motivated to gain control of your schedule and manage your time well.  Now, you just need to know how to make it really stick this time.  

The trick here is not will-power.  It’s not gritting your teeth and pressing through.  It’s not mantras or positive affirmations.  The trick is based in science.  

Your primitive brain does NOT want you to do all the things you just put on your calendar.  Instead, it wants to convince you to:

1. Seek pleasure 
2. Avoid pain 
3. Conserve energy 

You must use your higher brain, the prefrontal cortex, to override these innate desires to make life easy & comfortable.  You must monitor your thoughts.  You must notice them and question them.  

Most of us don’t do this. Instead, a thought appears (i.e. – “I don’t feel like going to the gym”), we accept it as truth and we honor it.  Aaaaaaand, we don’t end up going to the gym.  Instead, we end up busying ourselves with something else that is not a priority and then we wonder why we feel so stretched for time.

Here are some tips to avoid this common trap:      

• Be specific – Always make your appointments results-based appointments.  Never, ever make an appointment that is too vague.  For example, “Work on resume” means far less than “Choose new resume template”.  This keeps you focused and far more efficient.  Plus, you get the satisfaction of completing mini-goals along the way!  

• Anticipate your commitment level – Only put appointments on your calendar that you are 100% committed to doing.  Your calendar is NOT a To-Do list, it is an appointment book.  Make the appointments for the time of day when you know you’re able to do them.  

• Honor your appointments with yourself – Treat them the same as you would if it were a meeting with someone else.  We’re often much more committed to other people than our own selves.  Consider any appointments with yourself the same as if a friend were waiting for you at a restaurant or an important meeting with your boss at work.  Your relationship with yourself is more important than those relationships could ever be.    

• Plan for obstacles –  Consider all of the things that could get in the way.  Write them all down.  Then, beside each obstacle identify at least one strategy to overcome it.  

• No motivation?  No problem. – Expect that when the time comes you won’t feel like doing it.  Nothing has gone wrong, it’s completely normal.  The secret is to be willing to experience the discomfort of doing something you do not feel like doing, and just go do it anyway.  Sometimes motivation and inspiration are just a bonus.  Often getting started is the hardest part and you’ll quickly forget about that bad case of the “I don’t wanna’s”.            

• Pitch perfectionism – Feeling like we have to do it perfectly can make any task seem daunting.  Go into the task committed to the result and committed to doing your best to get it to “good enough”.  You can always go back and refine things later.  

• Celebrate good times c’mon! – Consider how you can reward yourself for following through on what you said you would do.  This doesn’t have to be time-consuming.  It can be as simple as taking a 5-minute break in between tasks.  Or, an even faster one that I love is changing the color of the tasks/appointments on my Google calendar as I complete them.  It gives me such a sense of satisfaction to look back at the end of the day and see all of those blue appointments turned purple!   

If you follow this process you will develop an amazing relationship with yourself.  You will begin to believe that you really can create any result you want in life.  You will trust that when you say you will do something you will do it.  You will know that if something goes on your calendar it is as good as done because of the integrity you have with yourself.

If it feels like this is all just too much or too hard, wait – don’t give up yet.  Let’s chat, I can definitely help.    

Secret 5: Make it manageable    

You know that frustrating feeling where you are just fed up and ready for a change?  When we get to that point we often try to make drastic, massive changes — and they never stick (think New Year’s Resolutions).  This is EXACTLY the reason why I had you practice constraint in Secret #2.  

Relax.  Breathe.  

This. Is. Not. A. Race.       

Your current results are a reflection of your current habits.  We’re working to change your habits and studies prove it is far more effective to do so incrementally.  James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, tells us that if we improve just 1% each day we will be 37x better after just one year.  

1% improvement in anything is totally manageable. 

The banking industry latched on to this idea by launching savings programs allowing you to round up your purchases and add it to savings.  So when you pay for that Grande Skinny Caramel Macchiato that costs $4.79, it gets rounded up to $5.00 and 0.21¢ is deposited into savings.  If you’re trying to save for a vacation that costs $1,000 saving just  0.21¢ is a small step in that direction that is totally manageable.  You probably wouldn’t even notice the 0.21¢ but it IS a contribution towards your vacation plans.         

So how do I get just 1% better you ask?  

Here are some suggestions: 

• Maintain good habits you already have – In an effort to create new habits, we sometimes lose sight of the value of what we’re already doing that’s working well!  So, if you’re already going to the gym or meditating or reading the kids a bedtime story every night and it’s working for you, don’t stop!  In fact, consider praising yourself for the commitment instead of dismissing it.  

• Be fully present – In his book, The Practicing Mind, Thomas M. Sterner tells a story where he shaved off 40% of the normal time it took him to tune a piano simply by trying to do it as slowly as possible.  It sounds counterintuitive at first, but when we are fully present and engaged with what we are doing we make fewer mistakes and ultimately gain efficiencies.  

• Practice “Clean-tasking” – Multitasking is a myth.  There are very few things we can do simultaneously – maybe walking and chewing gum.  But, for things that require thought our brains can only focus on one task at a time.  Rarely are we truly “multitasking”.  Instead, we “switch tasking” and studies prove this takes significantly longer.  We can reclaim time by committing to “Clean-tasking” which means we focus solely on one task at a time, complete it, and then move on to the next.

• Identify and go after mini-goals – You’ve heard the old saying “How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time”.  Consider your current results and make a commitment to marginal but prompt improvement.  For example, I wear a Fitbit which tells me the average number of steps I took last week was 11,200 per day.  If I want to increase to 12,000 per day, I’m not going to add 800 steps a day right out of the gate.  Instead, I might add 200 steps a day this week and then an additional 200 the following week until I get to the new average of 12,000.  This makes improvement far more do-able.

• Locate and eliminate “Time-stealers” – If you’ve ever found yourself asking “Where did all the time go??” I suggest you go find out.  Consider tracking your activities with a time tracking app to get a big picture view of where you spend time.  Most people who do this are amazed at the time stealers that invade their days!  Enter the data honestly with a mindset of curious discovery. When you review the data just ask yourself “How does this line up with my priorities and goals?”.  (PS – If you are wondering about a good app to use – Clockify, Harvest and Toggl are all good options that have free versions available).

Undoubtedly, there are many ways beyond just these suggestions to improve by 1%.  WHAT you choose to do is nowhere near as important as your commitment to actually improving and the reasons why you want to.  If you could use a hand untangling all that, I can definitely help – just click here to chat.