Month: July 2020

(<3-minute read time) 

Secret 4: Everything else comes later than you think  

Most people do Secret #4 first and that is exactly why we’re stretched for time.   

Your schedule should be about who you want to be, not what you “have to do”.  I put that in quotes because there is quite literally NOTHING we have to do.  Sure, there may be consequences for not doing something.  Obviously, if I don’t pay my taxes on time I will face penalty fees.  It’s still a choice.  

How we spend our time is always a choice.  

Our goal here is to make sure we are choosing consciously and in a way that propels us towards our potential, towards our dreams.  So, now that you have decided WHO you want to be, we get to work on how to make that a reality.      

What goes here really depends on what you wrote in Secret #2.   Here’s how it works:

1. Look back at who you said you want to be
2. Brainstorm all the actions you may need to do to make your desired future a reality
3. Commit to creating a habit by deciding how often you will do these activities     
4. Put these actions on your calendar  & follow the plan

As a leadership development coach, one of the examples I like to offer here is proactive employee development.  Leaders are often so busy in the day to day of managing we don’t take enough time to connect with team members specifically to learn about their career goals and discover ways we can support them.   It’s a shame because it holds us all back.  Leaders stay overwhelmed trying to do everything and later, there’s no one to take our place when we get promoted.  So, if one of the things you said in Secret #2 was that you wanted to be a successful leader, then consider adding employee development in order to help yourself and others achieve goals.  

Maybe you put something else down for Step #2.  Here’s a chart of examples: 

Who I want to be…..	Actions to take….	Frequency I can commit to
A successful leader	Employee Development	Five hours per week
An amazing spouse	Date night	Once a month
A loving parent	Ask my child about their day, be fully present, engaged, actively listen	Every school/summer camp day
A millionaire	Personal and professional development	Twice a week
A published author	Writing	Three hours a week
A marathon runner	Training time	45-60 minutes three times a week

Your turn.  Identify the specific actions you will take to move you towards the person you want to become.  You might be saying “But wait!!  What about everything else???”  

I hear you!  I get it, I know the groceries are not going to just appear in the fridge, the house is not going to clean itself, and the bills aren’t just going to miraculously get paid.   I promise you, the rest of your To-Do’s in life will fall into their proper perspective using this method.  

We’re building new habits and eventually you’ll gain space and time by being able to do these without effort.  I’ve found most of our “lost” time is the result of wishy-washy decisions.  Strong decisions become commitments which then become habits.  Good habits, like bad ones, bring an element of craving.  We begin to desire them and they become easy.               

At first, it will likely be hard and most of us could use a hand.  If that’s you,  let’s chat, I can definitely help.   

(2-minute read time) 

Secret #3, self-care, is one many of us resist.  I think that’s because we don’t really know what it is.  

The term “self-care” often conjures up images of bubble baths, face masks, and pedicures.  I call malarkey on that!  Sure those things are nice, if you like that sort of thing.  But, the truth is self-care is far more meaningful  And, it is utterly crucial to becoming the person you identified in Secret #2.  Countless studies have shown that without self-care humans suffer the following consequences: 

• Increased physical illness 
• Impaired personal and professional relationships 
• Decreased self-esteem 

So, in short, taking care of yourself is not at all selfish.  Instead, it is one of the most responsible, intelligent things you can do for yourself and those around you.  

I know many of you are probably going to resist this but I want you to make self-care a non-negotiable priority. 

You cannot pour from an empty pitcher.  These actions are not a luxury, they are a critical ingredient to becoming the version of yourself that you really want to be.     

Free Time:  This is your first self-care activity.  Every single day, give yourself completely unscheduled, free time.  Yes, every day.  Even if it’s just 10 minutes.  Start small, even teeny-tiny, if you have to.  The number of minutes truly does not matter.  Just get into the practice of having free, unoccupied time.  When that time pops up, you can do whatever you want with it.  You can make a phone call to a friend or mentor, take care of a small personal errand, meditate, read your favorite blog or enjoy doing absolutely nothing at all.            

Other self-care options:  You must have additional self-care activities.  Some activities might be every day, some might be once a week or once a month – it’s up to you, just make sure it’s on there.  Maybe you have no idea what to list here because you have been so busy taking care of everyone else.  If that’s you – here are some things I like include: 

• Physical fitness – running, yoga, strength training, walking the dog 
• Spiritual fitness – quiet time, church, volunteer work 
• Mental/Emotional fitness – reading, writing, meditation, meeting with my coach, chat with a friend       

In the space below I’ve started a chart for you.  Write down at least 3 more self-care activities you are willing to commit to and how often you will do them: 

Self Care Activity	Frequency
Free time	10 minutes per day

I know some of you might be thinking; “How can I add even one more thing on my calendar??”.  If you’re feeling that way go back and revisit Secret #2, or even better let’s chat.   I can definitely help.   

(2-minute read time) 

Last week I asked you to consider your thoughts about time.  The answers you came up with are truly critical – so, if you haven’t completed it, go back now.  

This week, I have a new question for you.  A simple, but not easy, question.  

Who do you want to be?

Few of us would answer this question by saying “Overwhelmed, stressed, busy, exhausted” yet that’s our reality. 

We are so busy IN our lives, we do not take time to take a step back and work ON our lives.  You may have no idea how to step back and look at it with a fresh perspective.  It’s ok, I’ve got you covered.  This is what Secret #2 is all about.    

Ask yourself, “Who do I want to be?” or “Who do I want to work towards becoming”.  Take some time to marinate on this a bit and truly consider all possibilities. 

Who do you want to be? A loving parent?  A successful leader?  An amazing spouse?  A millionaire?  

Maybe you want to be physically fit?  A published author?  A community leader?  A world traveler one day?     

Let your mind peruse all the possibilities and write them down.  Notice the word “all”.  I mean ALL.  Observe the answers your brain gives you – and DO NOT allow it to talk you out of anything, yet.  If you think it, it goes on the list.  Deal?  

When that’s done, you’ll probably have to practice the skill of constraint.  It just isn’t likely that you will write a book, get your Ph.D., raise your children, start a non-profit, plan a trip to Australia, grow your side-hustle, be president of the PTO, improve your marriage and learn how to make a killer gluten-free lemon meringue pie all while slaying it at your full-time job right?  

Ask yourself which of the things you listed above are MOST meaningful and important to you.  Avoid the trap of picking things based on how easy or hard you think they may be.  Make how meaningful they are to you the most important factor that decides whether they get to stay on the list.    

I suggest choosing just one or two (three if you must) to begin.  Focus on those first.  Be realistic, be kind, pare down if you need to – it’s ok.  I promise you will get more done when you exercise constraint.  Committing to everything is simply unrealistic.  

A laser beam puts off much smaller light than a light bulb, yet it can travel much farther distance with a higher concentration of energy.   Be like a laser.  Be focused.  You can always add more later.  

This work requires us to dive in and ask ourselves some tough questions.  Sometimes, that can be tough to do alone.  Need a hand?  I can definitely help, just click here to chat.     

(2 minute read time) 

Ever wish there were more hours in the day?  I used to think about how awesome it would be if there were two of me and at least 28 hours in a day.  Since that was never going to happen, I decided to find an actual solution.  One that truly works to tame the beast that was my schedule.  

I developed a process that turned things around from frenzied, frantic, and incomplete to purposeful, poised, and finished!   Learning to spend my time intentionally has been the game changer my life needed.  It can be your game changer too.  

Time is the most valuable resource we have.  Even more so than money.  We can make more money, we can’t make more time.  With that in mind, wouldn’t it make sense to be sure we’re spending our most precious resource purposefully?  

I know, I know – you may think you have heard it all before.  Maybe you’ve listened to experts.  Maybe you committed to trying what they said.  And, maybe you really did try.  Maybe you bought the planner, organized, and prioritized.  Yet somehow, the demands of life still leave you feeling exhausted.  There is always more to do than there is time to do it.  Balance seems out of reach.      

That’s. Just. Not. True.  

Test me on this.  Read this and the next 5 posts.  Commit to implementing these ideas and watch what happens.  You’ll be amazed.  This is the secret you’ve been needing to find more of your most precious resource – time.  

I’ll be honest, this is a very thorough process.  It might feel like quite an undertaking.  However, consider this as an investment.  Much like the old adage about having to spend money to make money, here we have to spend time to make time.  I promise you’ll reap back all the time you spent implementing this and more!  

In just 6 weeks, you can be amazed – but only if you choose to do the work.

Secret #1:  Time is….   

Complete the sentence “Time is ______”.  

Is time fast? Hard to manage? Is there not enough of it?  Let all of your thoughts about time come up and capture them.  

We need to bring awareness to your thoughts about time so do yourself a favor and actually write or type your answers here. Don’t just do this in your mind.

Your answers will reveal a lot about your relationship with time.  As you review your answers, decide which answers you like that will propel you to make better use of your time.  Notice the unhelpful ones and keep an eye out for them…   

Need a hand?  I can definitely help.  Just click here to chat!