Month: May 2020

(Less than 2-minute read time)

We often wish we could just change our behaviors with the flip of a switch.  

Honestly, sometimes that actually is possible.  

Think about medical diagnosis and sudden health habit changes.  

Someone learns they have diabetes and immediately stops eating sugar as they used to.  Someone learns they have cancer and stops smoking.   Someone learns they have heart disease and starts eating more vegetables and putting less salt on them. 

But, most often, habits are formed over time.  The bad ones we have are formed over time.  Recreating new ones also takes time.  

If it were a light switch we wouldn’t really have any problems to solve.  Goals become tasks when we can just go do them.  

Yet, we still just try to flip the switch don’t we?

We make a decision like “For the next 30 days I am going/not going to _____”.  

Maybe we get through a day or two.  

And then it gets hard.  

Here’s why it never works.  It’s because we are using willpower.  

What is willpower?  

Willpower is trying to just change our actions without addressing what causes those actions.  

Thoughts create feelings which drive actions.  

If we just try to change the action without having a look at the thoughts and feelings that created that action, we end up fatigued and we quit.  Way too early.    

Could you use a hand creating a new habit, a new result?   I can definitely help, let’s chat.

(Less than 2-minute read time)

I love living in a neighborhood of dog lovers.  It’s so fun.  Our pups enjoy hanging out together and we all help each enjoy out with pet sitting.   

Several months ago my friend had to go to the hospital unexpectedly.  She asked me to watch her dogs.  

She has two HUGE dogs, both rescues.  I was delighted to hang out with them.  I have a special place in my heart for animals, especially rescues…

When I went over to pick up the dogs they were SUPER excited.   It was fun to watch approximately 200 pounds of pup running over to my house.  It was fun to watch my own pups delight in having a playdate with their friends.     

But it wasn’t always that way. 

They weren’t always excited to come over.  My pups weren’t always excited to have the company.  

It was shaky at first.  

These rescue pups have histories.  Often, that history is unknown to us.  Nonetheless, they bring those experiences with them and we just see the effects – without knowing the details.  

All pups require patience, rescues sometimes need an extra measure of patience.  

It takes days, weeks, months – consistent love, time, and attention to build a relationship with a rescue dog.  

Great rescue dog relationships are built on great rescue dog interactions, one at a time.  Over time.  Love, grace, and patience.  Followed by more love, grace, and patience.  

I think the same is true for us humans.  

Could you use a hand improving a relationship in your life?   I can definitely help, let’s chat. 

P.S. – That’s the real deal in the cover photo.  His name is Hippo, can you even stand it??  Biggest heart, sweetest boy. I am lucky to call him my friend ❤

(Less than 2-minute read time)

When I started my business, my coach told me if I was able to earn some haters that meant I was doing it right.  

At first, this made no sense to me.  I wanted to appeal to all the people.  Of course, it’s completely unrealistic to think my message would resonate with everyone.  At the same time, I didn’t want to “earn” haters – no thank you.  

Since then I have earned some haters and experienced criticism of my work.  In fact, just a few days ago I received a rather ugly reply.  It’s not the first time and yet it still stung a bit at first.

Then I remembered…. 

Other people’s opinions are representations of their perspective.  Their perspective comes from their experiences, their history, their thoughts & their interpretations.  

It’s all theirs. It’s not even really about me at all.  Even if it were, almost anything anyone can say about me or my work – well, I can usually find at least some truth to it.  

So, I no longer have to ruminate on the negative feedback and replay the criticism over and over.  I no longer have to experience the anger and relentless justification of right and wrong.   

It doesn’t mean I don’t care.  I do.  I’m just stronger than the critique when it used to be the other way around.  What made me strong?  Showing up, sharing my work and encountering, not avoiding, the critics.  I’m glad they were there to help me get here. 

What about you?  Have you been shaken up by constructive (aka – negative) feedback?  Want to find a better way to process it?  I can definitely help, let’s chat.

(Under 2-minute read time)

Some of us are allowing disorder and chaos in areas of our lives where we’re normally refined and self-disciplined.

For many of us, life just feels out of control these days.  When we feel out of control it often seeps into areas where we actually do have control.    

“Everything’s a mess, to heck with it, I’ll just (eat this, drink that, work/work out later) 

I’ll be honest, I have found myself there a few times throughout this pandemic.  

But, a sad event recently reminded me of the ability we have to show up as the best version of ourselves regardless of our circumstances.   

**Tearjerker alert**

When I moved to Florida 20 years ago, I adopted a stray beach kitty and named her Olive.  I had no idea how old she was then but I can tell you she’s been a faithful friend for the last two decades. 

Sadly, the time to say goodbye to Olive came last week.  

It was heartbreaking and I was a mess.    

It would’ve been easy to postpone all of my appointments.  It would’ve been easy to justify not doing the work I’d committed to.  It would’ve been easy to just lay around and be sad.

A big reason I was tempted to cancel everything because I couldn’t imagine being able to work effectively feeling like I was.

I mistakenly believed being sad and doing good work could not coexist.

But then, I remembered it is possible.  

My circumstances do not determine how good of a day I have.  My thoughts do.

I can allow the sadness and, at the same time, not allow it to derail my business.  Sadness can come along with me for a little bit while I work, it’s ok.   

Maybe you’ve had similar challenges?  I can definitely help, let’s chat.