Month: March 2020

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I recently received this text message…

While it is really funny, it is also a great example of how our thoughts ultimately determine our results. 

Right now many of us are finding time feels a little different right now.  We have a different relationship with time. It is not that we have MORE or LESS time, we have the same amount of time we always had.  We’re just filling it differently these days.  

How will you fill your time?  

I can promise you with 100% confidence that how you think about time will show up in your results. 

The meme proves it – if I think I do not have time to clean the house, my result will be an unclean house.  

Coincidentally, if I think I have lots of extra time and “I can get to it later”, my result will also be an unclean house.  

Whether it’s a clean house, a great homeschool schedule for the kids, delivering excellent results at work, or any other result you want – your result is going to depend on your relationship with time.  

Today I encourage you to ask yourself what you think about time.  Notice what comes up. Does it feel like you have enough? Does it feel like it’s all being consumed with new responsibilities/concerns? 

Whatever comes up, don’t judge it as good or bad.  Instead, just notice if that’s likely to help you get to your desired results.  If it’s not, that’s ok – you get to think anything you want to about time.        

Need a hand?  I can help. Just click here. 

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You’ve heard of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  This is the distress that can happen AFTER a traumatic event.  

I recently read an article about a new PTSD.  PRE-traumatic stress disorder; distress that happens to us BEFORE a traumatic event.  It’s all of the worrying and dread about a hypothetical situation.  

In the current climate, many of us are projecting trauma.  We anticipate a world with no toilet paper, cleaning or medical supplies.  We envision not seeing distant loved ones for a very long time. We are imagining missing events that have not even been canceled.  We see scarcity and lack. 

I am not blaming anyone for thinking this way.  It’s a completely normal response from a brain that’s trying to protect you.  

And, yet, experiencing the distress of trauma before trauma happens is optional, unnecessary and unhelpful.    

In this life we will have troubles and trials, it’s supposed to be that way.  At the same time, I want to help you avoid some of the unnecessary angst.   

Awareness of what’s going on in your brain is the number one way to avoid this problem.  Today I’m re-sharing a fundamental tool that will help. But, there’s a catch – it only works if you actually do it.  

Step 1:  Take 5-10 minutes every day to notice the thoughts swirling around in your mind and record them (writing or typing is fine, do not try to do this all in your head – we are trying to get stuff out of there after all!)    

Step 2:  Recognize that every single thought is optional.  Our circumstances may not be optional but what we think about them always is.  

Step 3:  Pick one or two thoughts from what you wrote and ask yourself a few questions:

• Am I thinking this on purpose?
• Do I like this thought? Do I want to keep it?
• What else might I want to think instead?

Cleaning and sanitizing things are more important than ever right now.  Be sure this key area gets some of that attention. You’ll be glad you did.  Wanna chat about what you found?  Just click here.  

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We made a decision today in my family.  We decided to start planning for a vacation in 2021.  Planning a vacation for next year involves a lot of assumptions.  

It assumes that the location we choose will be accepting visitors. 

It assumes we will have the financial means to enjoy a vacation.  

It assumes we will be alive & well to travel.   

Right now it could be scary to assume these things.  But, these were all assumptions for every other vacation I have ever planned before this virus.   

Some of those vacations did not make it past the assumptions – like the cruise I planned to take for my birthday and ended up staying home with Hurricane Irma.  

I am not always right to assume that things will work out.  But, the alternative is assuming they won’t. I don’t like the alternative.  

If I am wrong I know I can handle it (as I did with the cruise). If I am right then I get to enjoy a vacation.   I think I’ll take that chance.  

Having goals, whether it is a small goal for today, a medium goal for the next 30 days or a long term goal (like a 2021 vacation), gives our minds something else to focus on. 

Having these goals increases action and therefore our contribution to the world.  The world needs our intentional contributions right now.

I challenge you today what’s one small goal you can complete in the next 24 – 48 hours?  How about something you can do this week or month? What’s on deck for you in 2021?

It’s totally ok to plan for a bright future.   

I can help.  Just click here. 

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What’s the best feeling you’ve had since terms like “social distancing” and “canceled” became some of the most common phrases used in a day? 

It can be tempting to think we do not have control over how we feel about our circumstances.  We might think that when “bad” things happen then, of course, we will feel “bad”.

However, I promise you, feeling “bad” is not required.  A colleague of mine who is also a physician volunteered to cover the COVID-19 unit at her hospital today.  She chose to do this because she believes she’s in a great position to be able to help. She’s feeling emotions like love, excitement, and purpose.  Not bad feelings at all. 

I’ve been thinking about those that do not have the option to telework and those, like my colleague, that could have said “No” but didn’t.  I appreciate their dedication and their willingness to think thoughts that are keeping access to crucial things like healthcare available to us all.  I am feeling a ton of gratitude. Not a bad feeling at all.  

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”  – Marcus Aurelius

The human spirit is one of resilience.  It’s inspiring to see us come together in new ways.  We are getting creative in how we can support our friends, families, and communities.  We aren’t giving up, it’s just not who we are as a species.  

Don’t ignore the negative emotions you’ve got coming up.  They’re allowed too. I am simply asking you to consider what else could you be feeling right now?  What else could you also be noticing about your specific situation that’s true and feels better?  

Need some help?  Just click here.      

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School’s canceled in a lot of places.  That’s a circumstance.  

Most kids are delighted and most parents are not.  Why?  

This school situation is clear evidence that our thoughts create our feelings.  

How do you WANT to feel about the current state of affairs right now?  If you want to feel better than you do, the answer lies in your thoughts.  

Without our thoughts, there is no fear and frustration.  

At the same time, if you are feeling these things that’s actually perfect.  It means your brain is operating as it should. It’s supposed to look out for danger and protect you.  

You are wise to look to protect yourself and your family.  At the same time, because our brains are obsessed with staying alive, we can quickly become addicted to the latest news cycle.  

Our primary thoughts and beliefs are a reflection of what we expose ourselves to the most.  I am not suggesting that any of you deny the reality of our world. I am suggesting some balance.  If you want to watch the news, please do. And then, expose your brain to something positive. Or, even better, take some time to digest any facts (actual facts, not opinions) you just learned on the news and decide on purpose what you want to make those things mean. 

There are facts in the world and then there are our interpretations of them.  If we were to drop all the scary interpretations we have most of us would find that at this very moment we are ok.  We have what we need. Perhaps there’s a new normal emerging. OK. So what? Let’s do this. We can totally do this. 

Need a hand?  Just click here.  

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Life is just different right now.    

It’s going to involve a new normal – at least temporarily.  

This change, like all change, inevitably conjures up emotions.  Common ones being fear and worry (as evidenced by the current toilet paper situation).  

So how are we to best respond?

The short answer is “on purpose”.  And here’s what I mean by that…  

One of the best definitions I have ever heard of leadership came from my coach, Brooke Castillo:  

“Leadership is going first without knowing the how.”

Here’s the thing.  The state that we are all in right now is unprecedented.  This means none of us know HOW to do life quite like it is right now.  

Often, not knowing can create feelings of fear, worry, uncertainty, dread. This can be especially problematic for leaders.  We may very well have our own worrisome, fearful thoughts going on AND we’re supposed to lead our, likely uneasy, team members at the same time?  The good news is there is a solution that’s completely within reach.  

If you have followed my work, you know I teach our thoughts create our feelings.  It’s not this virus that has us in a tizzy! It’s our thoughts about this unprecedented situation that have us feeling fear and scrambling for toilet paper.  

It’s entirely possible to prepare, lead and make wise decisions without the fear and worry.  In fact, I would argue that addressing your fear and worry is exactly the thing you need to help you be the best leader you can be.  

If you want to walk through the next few days and weeks with less fear and worry I can help.  Just click here for a free chat where we will simply talk through what’s weighing you down.  No obligations, just free help. And, the best part is it’s virtual, we meet online so no chance of catching cooties.  But, there is a 100% chance of catching some relief.      

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By now, you’ve undoubtedly hit some obstacles in pursuit of your #Triumphant2020 goal.  

Maybe things are taking longer or are more complicated than you’d imagined.  

Maybe the circumstances changed.  Maybe there’s a new boss or org structure in the mix?  Perhaps it’s an unexpected family issue or a new health circumstance to consider?  

Whatever the obstacle, I want you to consider the idea that the challenge you are facing is supposed to be there.

You know that thing you wish you did not have to deal with?  It‘s not a stop sign. It’s just life’s curriculum for you right now.     

Whenever my clients are in one of these rough patches, I love to ask them to tell me about a time where they felt a sense of great personal growth. 

They tell me all kinds of things – earning a degree, running a marathon, adopting or having children, beating cancer.  

It’s never during an easy-breezy time in life.

What if this challenge you have right now is supposed to be there.  How different would it be if you looked at it like that?   

Roger Crawford, a man who despite a physical ailment affecting all of his limbs, became a Division 1 athlete has this to say about our challenges: 

“There’s a big difference between difficult and impossible” 

Could you use a hand in reducing your impossible challenges to manageable circumstances?  I can definitely help, just click here to schedule a free, 30-minute discovery session.