A Fresh Look at Our Flubs & Flaws

(2 minute read time)

Have you ever noticed your brain is really good at finding things wrong about you?  

In my former corporate role, I did a lot of work as a master certified trainer – I trained and certified people to facilitate specific courses.  A part of the certification involves the candidates delivering a portion of a particular course to demonstrate their ability.  

At the end of the demo I’d ask the same question every time:

“What went well?”

Almost invariably, the answer was a quick mention of one good thing immediately followed by errors they believed they made.   Even though I hadn’t asked about the errors or opportunities to improve, their minds automatically went there.  

We all do this to ourselves to some degree.  We focus on the flaw, what went wrong, the imperfections.  Any mistake can be like a big flashing neon sign in our brain, one so bright it outshines all the good.    

It makes sense that we do this.  We’re taught from an early age to strive for perfection – in school, sports, and activities.  We are rewarded greatly for “getting it right”.  I remember Grandma would give me a quarter for every “A” on my report card – yep, a whole 25¢.  B grades got me nothing.  

I’m not here to pick on Grandma, she was amazing!  The quarters were just a way that she showed me she loved me, she wanted the best for me, wanted me to succeed.  

At the same time, I think we need a fresh look at our flaws, mistakes, and failures.  

Carol Dweck, in her famous Ted Talk, speaks about a school in Chicago that gave those who didn’t pass a course a grade of “Not Yet”.  The idea is that this kind of grading leaves the door open for future learning, that “Yet” is possible.

What if we took that approach in our own lives?  How would that change things?  I suspect we would be far more open to trying again.

When we are willing to give it another whack after a flub up, we give ourselves another chance – this time with more experience.  With more experience, we are closer to “Yet” than ever before!  Could you use a hand getting to your “Yet”?  I can definitely help.  Click here to chat!